What might we deduce about his Heart?

Hearts are peculiar things. I am not of course speaking about the  hollow muscular organ that pumps blood throughout the blood vessels to various parts of the body by repeated, rhythmic contractions, I am talking about the symbolic heart and what some refer to as 'the seat of the emotions' (although in reality that would be the hypothalamus-medulla oblongata or the hindbrain). Aristotle believed that the heart was the seat of the emotions but the Roman physician Galen considered the seat of passions to be the liver, the seat of reason to be the brain, and the heart to be the seat of the emotions. I wouldn't fancy giving somebody a liver on Valentines day though! Yuk!!

My boss (resident of 221b Baker Street) is very good at showing his feelings. He say's the most ridiculous things and is extremely rude to people when he is infact just 'stating the facts'.
But what really goes on behind those piercing eyes, no body knows? 

  
Once there was a woman who no one was entirely sure of and she weaseled her way through the doors of Baker Street. None of us trusted her but for some reason my boss seemed to like her - or though she thought - but that was all sorted out by a pair of dilated pupils and a game of pulse taking.

Anyway enough nonsense. Here are some fascinating facts about the heart:

* The human heart's magnetic field can be measured several feet away from the body
* The THUMP of a heart beat is the sound made by the four heart valves closing
* The medicine for the heart is 'laughter'
* The average heart weighs around 11 ounces
* Every day, the heart creates enough energy to drive a truck 20 miles.
* Early Egyptians believed that the heart and other major organs had wills of their own and would move around
     inside the body.
* A woman’s heart typically beats faster than a man’s.
* Grab a tennis ball and squeeze it tightly: that’s how hard the beating heart works to pump blood.

One of my favourite books is The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers. Here is the story...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB7k0S06hhY


So there we have it. My boss says never let your heart rule your head. Guard your heart as if it is the most precious thing you own (because it is) BUT don't lock it away, frightened of it getting broken, share it with people through being kind and thoughtful and enjoy all the amazing things the world has to offer...like laughing with friends, splashing in the sea, bow ties and fish fingers and custard ;)

Problems with facial hair

There are very few times in this life when an opportunity arises for you to do something absolutely ridiculous that everyone finds hilarious because the timing was perfect! I have made a complete fool of myself on a number of occasions thinking I was being funny...and no one laughed except me! Here's me with a mono-brow...humm...

and here is a rare picture of my boss on such an occasion!

Dear John is quite serious - or so everyone thinks - but now Mary has come along, I think she plays him up and pulls his leg :) She teases him about all sorts of things, including facial hair!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6F2X68JTls

Facial hair can be a real problem. Unlike the latest man craze of the 'Full Beard' worn by many celebrities like: George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman, the half bearded mustache can look very dodgy to say the least. On this account dear John shaved his off after my boss rather cruelly pointed in his face and laughed at him and Mary said he should have it put on a t shirt!

The mustache though has become something of a symbol of solidarity for men across the world. 

Men do not like talking about their health and somehow growing a mustache in November helps.  I don't get it but obviously some people do. So in the hope that I will one day understand why men sometimes wear a furry caterpillar underneath their noses...I shall, this November join in the campaign and wear one myself!

A nice Britishcup of tea?

In Britain we know how to deal with a crisis. As soon as something bad happens or there is impending doom lurking just around the corner, what do we do? Do we run around screaming 'panic', biting our finger nails to the bone? Do we sweat buckets and have an attack of what Mrs Hudson calls the heebie-jeebies? Do we lie down with our faces in the mud, pounding the floor with our fists?

No, we do none of these because we are British. What then do we do I hear you ask? The answer will be clear to all of you British folk reading this, but just in case you are not British...we put the kettle on and make a nice cup of tea.

Tea is the remedy for all situations where you need to adapt a cool head! Like when my boss (resident of 221b Baker Street) had a visit from his arch nemesis, Jim Moriarty! I've never seen the kettle go on so quickly in fact!

 Tea of course has to be made in a certain way, and that would depend on whether you use tea bags or loose leaves.Tea bags can be tricky, but here's a useful guide and for goodness sake NEVER put the milk in the cup first!

If you would like to discover a truly British way of making tea, see the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnvYymrCn4g

There we have it, tea has got us through two world wars, the British empire was built on it and if you ever want to impress any Britain's, make a smashing cup of tea, in a proper china cup (with saucer) poured from a pre-warmed tea pot which has a knitted tea cosy (exactly like the one below)

Accompaniment suggestions for afternoon tea are:

* Scones with clotted cream and jam (making sure the cream is spread on BEFORE the jam - unless you are in Cornwall, then it is butter, then jam with a dollop of cream on top ( not whipped cream), OR
*A selection of; Rich tea biscuits, custard creams, chocolate bourbons and digestives.

Please ensure that every day, you have your tea at the ready at 4 'O' Clock sharp or the empire will indeed Crumble!

For other very British problems - see here https://twitter.com/SoVeryBritish

Story Time!

Everybody loves a good story. No matter who you are, how old you are or what you like. I myself like reading books and watching films.
My boss (resident of 221b Baker street) says that watching films fills your head with all sorts of rubbish and reading books just wastes all your time but i think he's missing allot of fun! Not that he actually has any sense of fun. I know he solves crimes as an alternative to getting high but he really is missing out! 


So I decided to try and make him read a book and write down his thoughts. So this is what happened. NOTHING. Literally nothing happened. He just stood there looking at the book, pen and note book. Until he finally picked it up and started to write something. And no, i do not know what he put down on the paper but he gave it to Mrs Hudson and she looked at him funny. I am still very suspicious. I am going to try and find the note tonight.

I suggest people read these ten books:

- The Hobbit/Lord of the rings

- Pride and prejudice 

- The Sleeping Sword

- Raising Dragons

- The Hunger Games

- Eragon

- Horrible Histories Series

- Agatha Christie

- The famous five

- Narnia

The trouble with cars...

Lestrade venting his anger

Cars are brilliant! They get you from A to B with no waiting around, no ques, no standing around in the rain or blistering heat and no stress...well on a good day anyway; when there are no traffic jams, no road hogs and no engine trouble. Infact cars can be a tonne of fun OR a nightmare!

A sort of friend of mine who works at Scotland yard often takes his frustrations out on his car...strange, but true!

One major problem with driving on your own even with a satellite navigation system, is the real danger of becoming LOST - or temporarily misplaced - as the case may be. In the case of my boss (resident of 221b Baker Street) he is NEVER lost! That is because he is exceptionally perceptive and stores multiple maps in his mind Palace.

If you do however have some trouble with your car, you may want to consider the following:

1. Getting break down cover with a reputable company

2. Get to know a good car mechanic and garage

3. Buy a Haynes manual for your own car and teach yourself some D.I.Y

4. Get yourself an up to date A-Z for the area you need

5. Buy a Tom Tom or Satelite Navigation System

(See below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSnfcm_Yf2M

I hope these suggestions will be of use to you in the future - Happy travelling :)

Take a deep breath

We all have to face things we don't want to do at times and my boss (resident of 221b Baker Street) knows this full well. He has an interesting collection of things which he keeps in case an emergency arises. Apart from Duct Tape - which we all know is the number one survival item - second on the list is Bungee Cord.

I have to say I never go anywhere without it. Bungee Cord comes in handy for multiple uses, like:

Braces to hold your trousers up

Curtain tie backs

Flexible Toy storage

Chair upholstery

Bracelets

bungee

ˈbʌndʒi/

noun

noun: bungee cord

1. 1.

   a long nylon-cased rubber band used for securing luggage and in the sport of bungee jumping.

   
   

   My boss found his bungee cord very useful on a certain occasion when he was infact about to throw himself off a roof and didn't want to hit the floor. The rather long bungee was exactly the length he needed for the stunt. I remember he had asked me to pop down to the hardware store and buy a specific length in a 'gainsbro' grey which was a particularly good camouflage.

   

   
   

   
   

   So there we have it. Bungee Cords and lots of reasons why you should never leave home without one :) Though I must point out, it doesn't work well when jumping out of planes...for that you would need a parachute :)

   

   
   

   Smile and wave boys - smile and wave! :D

Did you miss me?

It's not uncommon for Detectives to disappear once in a while...like my boss, the resident of 221b Baker Street, who very recently came back after two years! Infact (bless him) he faked his own death in order to take on the most dangerous villain in the history of the world! I of course knew all along that he was undermining a network belonging to said villain and would return when he was done...which he now has.

It's a strange thing when someone comes back - especially if you thought they were dead. Lot's of things spring to mind. 

Firstly:

* a blank shock

* followed by disbelief

* followed by anger

* and to finish with...rage

Dear John was a little unimpressed when my boss revealed he was indeed not dead and to add insult to injury he tried to make a joke out it - which didn't go down too well at all. John was just about  to make a proposal of marriage to his girlfriend Mary when my boss decided to reveal himself - so the timing was particularly bad.

After the initial shock, followed by dear John trying to strangle my boss in the middle of a busy high class restaurant; I suggested that they should all pop down to the local chippy and sort the whole thing out over a nice bag of lovely golden chips made from a good quality potatoes. This is always a great idea when comfort is needed after a shock or when the 'Chips are Down' (Pardon the pun)

It all turned out alright in the end. Dear John has eventually forgiven my Boss, Mary and John are now engaged, my Boss Likes Mary (which is rare) and if you ask me I think the chips played a big part in it all. 

But just as we had all settled down to our life of crime solving - somebody else asked the same question...oh dear, here we go again :/